AAAGGGH!!!

That's horrible!

And what is it with the couples?

-- CarolynJohnston - 31 Jan 2006

synchronicity alert

I just checked my email to look at Carolyn's email, and look what was waiting, sent by the head of our school board:

We just received notification from the Irvington Police Department that there was a possible abduction attempt of a 12 year old girl in Sleepy Hollow today at 2:30 p.m.

Details were as follows:

35-40 year old white male, black hair/ponytail, wearing a black leather jacket and black sunglasses with gold rims. Car described as a brown/gray 4-door Jeep with spare tire on back. There might be a women involved driving a small black car.

Again, as stated in the letter sent home to Dows Lane, MSS and MS parents earlier this week, please talk with your children about what they should and should not do if confronted in such situations.

-- CatherineJohnson - 30 Jan 2006

hi — I'm pulling it now!

-- CatherineJohnson - 30 Jan 2006

Catherine, please check your email when you see this, I have something I need you to look at.

-- CarolynJohnston - 30 Jan 2006

OK, you sold me. Totally. I'll do it.

-- CarolynJohnston - 30 Jan 2006

the other thing is, I find that police-type people - i.e. local officials - can be incredibly sweet to developmentally disabled people

since the police are more or less in charge, they'll sometimes make an effort to make a developmentally disabled person feel included & part of the community

I suspect this is true for all the different people who fulfill civic roles - our firemen here are fantastic with Jimmy & Andrew

-- CatherineJohnson - 30 Jan 2006

OK, boiling it down:

You introduce your son to the local (and surrounding area?) police for two reasons:

a) you remove any potential threat to him from the police

b) you give him an extra layer of protection

-- CatherineJohnson - 30 Jan 2006

AND I DON'T SAY THAT TO FREAK YOU OUT, although I realize it DOES freak everyone out

it's just that it's important to take your son in to meet the police

the other good thing about it is that when the police know your child 'personally,' they can look out for him

that's not an issue with Ben now - but as he gets older and more independent it wouldn't be a bad thing for local cops simply to know who he is -

say Ben's out with friends at the mall, or a park, or whatever - any local police who happen to be around will keep a friendly eye out

this has been hugely important with Andrew

one day last summer he got away and the cops got to him INSTANTLY; no time was wasted trying to sess out the situation, talk to whoever called it in, etc.

-- CatherineJohnson - 30 Jan 2006

Carolyn

Did you introduce them? I've wondered whether I ought to take Ben for a visit to the local police station. It's the kind of thing you never actually get around to.

yes, absolutely - especially with a Ben (i.e. with a person as high-functioning as Ben)

It's REALLY important.

Both Jimmy & Andrew's names are at the police department, and I personally introduced Jimmy to a cop once just when we were standing in the school parking lot. They have our name, address - the works.

Of course, the reason they know Andrew so well is they keep finding him wandering naked down the middle of BROADWAY where the cars go about 40, 45 mph. (It's amazing I'm still functioning at all.)

Seriously, though, this is VERY important.

There've been more than a few horrible, horrible tragedies where police assumed that a developmentally disabled person was disobeying them or confronting them or threatening them - or whatever.

Christian says that just last week a young autistic man was shot and killed in Brooklyn.

-- CatherineJohnson - 30 Jan 2006

They eventually caught the 20's man and his 19-year-old girlfriend

what a strange thing

are 'couples kidnappers' not uncommon (amongst kidnappers, I mean)??

-- CatherineJohnson - 30 Jan 2006

I was such a hilariously serious 6-year-old that I was frustrated that I was unable to remember his license plate # as well!

what an incredible story!

-- CatherineJohnson - 30 Jan 2006

So the police stopped them and took down all their information. Of course, the police recognized Jimmy; "That's Jimmy Berenson," they said.

Did you introduce them? I've wondered whether I ought to take Ben for a visit to the local police station. It's the kind of thing you never actually get around to.

-- CarolynJohnston - 30 Jan 2006

you know, I wouldn't let Ben go places on his own

I've learned my lesson!

-- CarolynJohnston - 30 Jan 2006

I remember an incredibly affecting story about a Harvard undergrad who had schizophrenia. He made it all the way through and graduated, and wrote about the experience.

Someone they interviewed about him said he had an incredibly powerful 'observer self' (don't know if that was the term); he was able to watch himself being schizophrenic, and choose not to 'go with' his schizophrenia.

There is an well-known psychiatrist -- E. Fuller Torrey -- who has written a book called 'Surviving Schizophrenia', who says that over time, as schizophrenics age, they tend to improve (like John Nash did) precisely because of this -- they realize the voices are just in their head, and they lose the power they once had over the person. The person just refuses to go along with it to the same degree.

You know, I wonder if executive functioning doesn't actually improve with age to some degree -- I think that it must, at least through middle age (because of the president thing -- if it didn't, we'd have to have 25-year-olds being president). I know my own executive functioning is only now just starting to be halfway decent. I'm very serious about that.

-- CarolynJohnston - 30 Jan 2006

I am so glad that Ben is safe!

Back in 1988, when I was 6 1/2 and my sister was 5, we lived in Base housing in Japan. There was a park directly across the street from our house, and for the first time one day, my mom let us play there without her. That never happened again!

My sister Lisa and her friend Elizabeth were playing on the see-saw near the road while I was further away on the swings. I saw a man drive up to the curb and call to them. As they walked toward his car, I came running and heard him tell them about his "poor lost little puppy". When he saw me his eyes got wide and he immediately took off. I grabbed their hands and ran home, dragging them with me. My sister was completely clueless, asking me, "Why are we leaving? I want to play!" She finally got the picture when I told her he was trying to kidnap her. I was such a hilariously serious 6-year-old that I was frustrated that I was unable to remember his license plate # as well!

About 4 or 5 years ago in Boise there were several attempted kidnappings by a couple in a van. They eventually caught the 20's man and his 19-year-old girlfriend. Initally, we didn't recognize either of them on the news, but during an interview with the girl's mom, in which she screamed and freaked out about her daughter's innocence, my mom did a double-take. My mom said, "I swear I've heard that voice yelling at me before." Sure enough, the daughter was my mom's former student and my former classmate! She had been in serious trouble as a 13-year-old when we knew her, and it had culminated to kidnapping.

-- AndyJoy - 30 Jan 2006

except there's this report, on Google:

Eerie, elusive van man rattles Rye residents

... the silver sedan is now the 40-year-old man in the green van? ...

-- CatherineJohnson - 30 Jan 2006

and that's it

no idea what happened to these two

they got as far as trying to grab a child physically; they also offered candy to kids to coax them into the SUV

and that's the last I know

-- CatherineJohnson - 30 Jan 2006

ooooooohhh

I didn't know this story:

November 19, 2004 •• 924 words •• ID: wst2004111910163002

2 getting bolder, parents fear David McKay^? Wilson and Leslie Korngold The Journal News RYE - A man and woman in a green minivan struck Wednesday for the third time in as many days, this time grabbing for a 10-year-old boy as he walked home from Rye Neck Middle School and raising fears that the couple are becoming increasingly bold. The Wednesday incident, which Rye police characterized as an attempted abduction, marked the first time a young adolescent reported that a man in the van ($)

-- CatherineJohnson - 30 Jan 2006

another Westchester mom

November 24, 2004 •• 611 words •• ID: wst2004112409553707

Suspects have already stolen kids' innocence Judith Lederman To the people in the green van or SUV who have been cruising Westchester kids: You had better hope that the police catch up with you before I do. As a Westchester mom, I have put myself on permanent bus stop detail with my middle-schooler until you guys are caught and brought to justice. I would like to give you a personal warning to stay away from Westchester County and steer clear of any children in my vicinity. ($)

-- CatherineJohnson - 30 Jan 2006

December 2, 2004 •• 420 words •• ID: wst2004120210354636 2 boys, 9, accosted by couple in SUV Candice Ferrette The Journal News A couple in a dark green sport utility vehicle tried to lure two 9-year-old boys into the vehicle last night, Rye police said. The couple matched the description previously reported by children in the area who had similar experiences. "It is important to emphasize that this incident, like most of the previous cases, did not involve any overt attempt to approach the boys or any physical action to grab...

Zillions of stories exactly like this one.

My computer's a mess.....I'm having trouble moving through the pages.

I want to find out if these two were ever caught.

-- CatherineJohnson - 30 Jan 2006

green van snippets from The Journal News

-- CatherineJohnson - 30 Jan 2006

yay Ben

-- CatherineJohnson - 30 Jan 2006

Another good thing: you know this, obviously, but I'll write it for readers who don't. Autistic people are HUGELY anxious.

Autism is connected to OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder), which is considered to belong to the anxiety disorders.

Anxiety is a very, very useful emotion; in fact, people with abnormally low anxiety are severely disordered (they are sociopaths, I believe).

You have to have anxiety & fear to be normal.

Autistic people have more anxiety - way more - than typical people, but given what they're dealing with that may not be all bad.

Autism is, IMO, a 'no common sense-y' disorder; autistic people don't have huge quantities of 'street smarts' or 'social savvy' (the latter almost by definition).

High levels of anxiety, it seems to me, ought to allow a very high-functioning autistic person like Ben to compensate for deficits in social savvy.

My best friend from college, who became a clinical psychologist working with kids & adolescents, told me she always says to parents of children with anxiety disorders: This is driving you crazy now, but when he's 16 and gets his driver's license and his friends start using drugs you're going to be happy.

She was exaggerating for effect, obviously, but she was also serious.

Anxiety will keep an adolescent from diving in to all the dangerous activities adolescents dive into.

-- CatherineJohnson - 30 Jan 2006

I remember an incredibly affecting story about a Harvard undergrad who had schizophrenia. He made it all the way through and graduated, and wrote about the experience.

Someone they interviewed about him said he had an incredibly powerful 'observer self' (don't know if that was the term); he was able to watch himself being schizophrenic, and choose not to 'go with' his schizophrnia.

He couldn't choose to cure himself; he couldn't choose not to be schizophrenic.

But he could, and did, choose to act as if he wasn't — to do things no one with a mental illness as severe as his ever does.

Ben doesn't have a severe mental illness; he has what I now think of as a 'condition'.....(which is not to minimize it).

He is obviously developing the 'observer self' he'll need to override his autism as an adult.

-- CatherineJohnson - 30 Jan 2006

Carolyn, I think this is incredibly good news.

I wouldn't necessarily be surprised that he managed to come home & report the situation if he weren't focused on getting inside the building.

Obsession & perseveration are HUGE traits in autism; for Ben to override an obsessive interest is major.

That's incredibly impressive.

I haven't posted my new frontal lobe stuff yet.....and I will.....it's more evidence that when push comes to shove frontal lobes & executive function are where the action is.

You can have all kinds of mental problems, difficulties & even mental illnesses & disorders; if you have the frontal lobe strength or stamina or organization or whatever it is to override those difficulties, YOU'RE GOING TO SURVIVE AND VERY LIKELY THRIVE.

-- CatherineJohnson - 30 Jan 2006

which is probably just about as bad

-- CatherineJohnson - 30 Jan 2006

Meanwhile Christian, who works with Jimmy & Andrew, and is 6'5", black, & wears his hair in dreadlocks, involved with the police THREE TIMES last week.

And he's done nothing wrong.

Christian and Jimmy got racially profiled this week. They were out for their walk, and an Irvington resident called them in as suspicious characters.

So the police stopped them and took down all their information. Of course, the police recognized Jimmy; "That's Jimmy Berenson," they said. But they still had to take down all their info. They apologized while doing it, which was good. Then they apologized to me later on when I called up to tell them that Christian is a part of our Irvington community.

Christian said, "I would have been mad, except it was my third time with the police that week. I'm getting used to it."

hyperspecificity alertn

So in the middle of this narrative, Christian tells me, 'You can't wear hoods in Irvington.'

He and Jimmy were both wearing hoods.

I said, 'WHAT????? YOU CAN'T WEAR HOODS IN IRVINGTON??? THIS IS A LAW??? I WEAR HOODS ALL THE TIME, I CAN'T WEAR HOODS???'

So then my brain is racing ahead, planning out all the Protesting and Objecting I'm going to have to do about this LUDICROUS infringement on my personal liberty, and all the on-purpose wearing-of-hoods right-in-front-of-the-police-department I'm going to have to do (you'd think the public schools would be willing to Pay Money to get a person like me OUT of the public schools) when Christian says, 'It's not a law.'

oh

it's not a law

it's a small white town and if a resident sees a tall black man and a tall white man walking along the road wearing hoods over their heads they will call the police and the police will come

-- CatherineJohnson - 30 Jan 2006

oh my gosh, that's HORRIBLE

you know, I wouldn't let Ben go places on his own

Here in Westchester, which is hardly Crime Central, we had an attempted kidnapping in broad daylight, at recess time, in a neighboring town (Hastings, I think).

Literally, a guy in a car tried to pull a child inside DURING RECESS.

(btw, I've forgotten details....so it may be that the person tried to lure the child, and didn't actually put hands on the child. I have a memory that things went beyond 'luring,' and that the child in fact ran to the school for safety. But I could be wrong.)

Then last year, we started letting Christopher walk most of the way home on the aqueduct trail.

Well, about five seconds after we did that, the 'green van' struck.

The green van was a couple - a man and a woman - driving around, trying to lure kids into their car. They were operating on the east side of the country - Mamaroneck & thereabouts - but Mamaroneck isn't exactly the far side of the moon.

These two were in business for months, in their frigging green van. They were totally incompetent, as far as I could tell; every five seconds they were approaching some kid, trying to lure him into the car, AND FAILING.

But no one could catch them.

After awhile it was a joke; the police were stopping Innocent Green Vans all over creation, and never getting the child-luring couple.

We figured it was OK for Christopher to continue walking home, since cars don't go on the aqueduct trail, but of course we told him about the green van, and told him not to get in cars with ANYONE, and we said he should always walk home with a friend, never alone, and by that time he wasn't really up for walking home on the aqueduct trail any more.

So......I basically don't let Christopher go places alone. We use the buddy system.

otoh, come spring he'll probably be walking home alone. He drops his friend Joe off midway, and then he's on his own.

This stuff happens so much, I don't even know the denouement of the Green Van couple, or if there was one.

Did they ever catch them?

I don't know.

-- CatherineJohnson - 30 Jan 2006

Ben has a close call

Ben asked for permission to go down to the school in our neighborhood today (Sunday), and play by himself at the playground. I told him he could, but I wanted him back quickly.

Well... he did come home quickly, and when he came in, he told me the following story.

He said that a man came up who had a key to the school, and the man asked him if he wanted to go inside the school. He knew he shouldn't, because it wasn't safe, and so he came right home and told me. This is not only a close shave because it was a fishy situation; it was a close shave because Ben is quite obsessed, right now, with going inside the neighborhood school and church. He came home and told me about it because he knew that doing it by himself wasn't safe; he wanted me to go right down with him and take him in the school while the man still had the school open!

I can think of only one honest explanation for the situation, and several nasty ones. The only honest one I can think of is that the man was a janitor who came up, opened the door, saw Ben's longing look (or perhaps Ben even TALKED to him), and invited him inside just to be nice. That's possible ... barely.

I guess all those readings of 'The Berenstain Bears: the Trouble with Strangers' made an impression. I always wondered how Ben would react in a situation like this -- where one of his obsessions was at odds with his personal safety. It seems he has a sense of self-preservation after all, thank God.

-- CarolynJohnston - 30 Jan 2006

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