-- CatherineJohnson - 31 May 2006

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Two attributed quotes about political rival Sir Stafford Cripps:

There, but for the grace of God, goes God.

and...

He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.

http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Winston_Churchill

-- BenCalvin - 31 May 2006

From that same site, and just as well known:

Bessie Braddock: Sir, you are drunk. Churchill: And you, madam, are ugly. But in the morning I shall be sober.

(Reported with various wordings.)

-- DougSundseth - 31 May 2006

OH!

I LOVE THESE!

I THINK THIS MAY HAVE TO BECOME A RECURRING FEATURE!

-- CatherineJohnson - 01 Jun 2006

When I was in law school, our basketball program was put on NCAA probation for various rules violations and a member of the law faculty left the law school for the athletic department in order to help the program "follow the rules."

Upon hearing this, an older classmate quipped, "When Professor X left the law school for the athletic department, it raised the I.Q. of both places."

-- KarenA - 01 Jun 2006

For those of us less quick-witted than Churchill, or Twain, or Dorothy Parker, there's a phrase that is worth remembering:

"esprit d'escalier" (approximately "staircase wit")

It's a French term for those times when you think of the perfect comeback while walking away after a confrontation.

-- DougSundseth - 01 Jun 2006

esprit d'escalier!

Unfortunately, I'm esprit d'two days later.

I'm still trying to think of a comeback for the lady in the blue Volvo who scolded me about my dogs yesterday.

Christian said, "You just made her day. She's gonna be telling folks over dinner how she told this lady to get her dogs on a leash."

true

-- CatherineJohnson - 01 Jun 2006

Meanwhile I'm still fuming.

-- CatherineJohnson - 01 Jun 2006

"Madam, I'll be happy to put the dogs on a leash, but I always start with the stupidest one, and I don't have a leash for you."

-- DougSundseth - 01 Jun 2006

It's not quite a put-down, but here's one of my favorite apocryphal Churchill stories. Churchill was at a urinal in Parliament, when Clement Atlee walked in and took the stall next to him. Churchill immediately moved to the next stall down.

"Feeling a bit modest today, Winston?" Atlee asked?

"No," Churchill replied, "It's just that whenever one of you Labour fellows sees something large, well-run, and privately owned, you always try to nationalize it."

-- IndependentGeorge - 01 Jun 2006

Two, which I do not know the authenticity of:

Mozart: "I liked your opera. Perhaps I will set it to music."

Earl of Sandwich: "Upon my honor, Wilkes, I do not know if you will die on the gallows or of the pox." John Wilkes MP: "That depends on whether I embrace your Lordship's principles, or your mistress."

-- LesleyStevens - 17 Sep 2006

these are hilarious!

-- CatherineJohnson - 19 Sep 2006