a short story by Vern Williams

One night I walked into the 43/8 dimension and actually believed the following:

• We should write about math but never do math.
• Correcting students' papers using red ink is a threat to children's self esteem and that red pens should be banned from all public schools.
• Howard Gardner was right about his multiple intelligence theory (I think that he claims about nine at the moment) and that schools should value bodily-kinesthetic ability and the intelligence of self as much as mathematical and linguistic ability.
• The war on intellectual excellence is a great thing. It will make us all equal.
• Teachers Unions are actually concerned about students.
• Advanced courses and gifted programs should be banned because they are elitist and unfair. Since everyone is gifted in their own way (see Howard Gardner), why have special gifted programs?
• There are no bored students in US public schools.
• We can teach thinking even when there is no content to think about.
• We should treat members of politically protected minority groups as victims.
• We should never view our students as individuals but as members of racial and ethnic groups.
• We should buy into the latest educational fad even if it's based on political correctness and has nothing to do with learning or common sense.
• There is no money wasted on administration, specialists, and useless programs. In fact, we should have more of each.
• I should join the NCTM.
• I should join the NEA.
• I should feel guilty because I teach smart kids.
• I should feel really guilty because I enjoy teaching smart kids.