Susan on being your child's secretary

great comment from Susan


I have no idea what work you "show" for greater than/less that questions.

You might want to write down managable questions like what you put up above for your meeting with her, which I know you'll be having soon. That's perfectly legitimate and it will get you clear and perhaps make her realize that she's not so clear. She has to tell them what she means or the book must have had them doing it that way unless it is some standard way of doing it that everyone knows about.

We were having similar issues with not having enough homework for the work being asked to be done. We've had to use the other books I have for extra practice.


children don't know what they don't know

Again, children don't know what they don't know. They don't know about flexible/inflexible knowledge. They don't know how much is enough. An experienced teacher whose had children bomb on sections would probably anticipate problems with certain chapters. My son's algebra teacher is a veteran. He has stretched and redone some chapters with extra practice. After 25+ years of teaching math he knows exactly what's going to happen and when he can trust the text and when he can't. Even with that, some kids aren't going to make it and I still have the feeling it has more to do with not having enough practice.


the parent as personal assistant

I have had to become his personal secretary because of the school's expectations of him regarding homework and projects and deadlines. He is given all kinds of things to do with all kinds of deadlines and no real guidance on how to manage his time. Many of these things are lacking in specificity. I have to make him pull out his assignments and go through them one by one. If he can't explain something I ask why he didn't write down more so that he would understand it when he got home. We've had much whining and crying over this, but he's starting, finally, to realize that I am going to look at it when he gets home and it must make sense. Just my hammering away at the assignment book and his responsiblity to accurately get his work written down thoroughly has started to make him realize what he has to do to succeed, but that is a gargantuan assignment in and of itself.

I seriously don't remember this kind of juggling of assignments myself much before high school, so it irritates me that I have to take so much time to teach him how to even write it down properly.

I think as a parent you can point out these kinds of murky expectations by the teacher (like the show your work problem) and that they need to be clarified better.

Test-taking has been more difficult for my son, too. There's a stamina and a maturity needed that's a little different than is required for the quizzes. We were doing great on the quizzes, but tanking on the tests. We've talked it through with him and he's improving, but he still isn't as strong on them as he is on the quizzes.

It sounds like you are trying to turn it into a Life Lesson about perseverence and I think you are so smart to do so. Like you said, quitting soccer is no big deal, but he needs to see that some things he can't quit and that it will be alright. They really think it's the end of the world.

With all that blasted "character" stuff they're teaching, you'd think they'd include some of what he's going through.


the veteran

My son's algebra teacher is a veteran. He has stretched and redone some chapters with extra practice. After 25+ years of teaching math he knows exactly what's going to happen and when he can trust the text and when he can't.


This is exactly my concern with Ms. Kahl.

She is, I think, a 2-year veteran, and last year was a trial by fire.

Plus she's up for tenure this year, and while I don't know whether she should have tenure or not, I don't feel that she shouldn't. I know what a tenure year is like; we went through two years of he**. I'd have to feel strongly that she's in the wrong business to want to make Ms. Kahl's tenure year more stressful than it already is.

Christopher has said to me, several times, 'Ms. Kahl is a good teacher,' or 'Ms. Kahl is a pretty good teacher.'

Ms. Kahl isn't a crowd-pleaser; I'd be stunned to learn that she plays to the kids in any way, or grooms fans.

So if Christopher is telling me she's a good teacher, one thing he's not saying is that she's a narcisstic teacher winning love from kids. Plus he doesn't love her. He sees her as a good teacher who wants him to do well.

She's someone who might be a terrific teacher in 5 years' time.


chipperness restored

OK, Christopher just walked in chipper as usual; so far so good.

He's in particularly good spirits because they had another bomb threat today, so they had to walk down the hill to the Main Street School and mill around with their friends until The Danger Had Passed.

That's two bomb threats this fall, both at the middle school, and both, oddly enough, starting in the girl's restroom. "They always come from the girls' restroom," Christopher says.

I know my school didn't have bomb threats in the girls' restroom when I was a kid.

So we finished up with the bomb threat and segued to the subject of, "Do you have my Feature Story?"

"Yes, why?"

"Mr. Fried wants to see it."

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